[Originally published on Facebook on June 19, 2014]
Ok, when I was young, I was addicted to Apple Jacks, Sugar Corn Pops and King Vitamin cereals.
One day, I was craving King Vitamin like a crack fiend. I went into the kitchen, passed the "already opened and almost empty" boxes of cereal and opened a new one (Cardinal Sin). I knew I wanted more than one bowl, so I poured the entire contents into a punch bowl. Yes, a punch bowl. Then I added enough milk to ensure I could enjoy every cool, crunchy bite.
After eating the equivalent of three regular-sized cereal bowls, I felt that I had had enough and didn't care for the soggy texture that the cereal had taken. I sat back from the table and went to the sink to pour the bowl out and that's when dad ("Big Ken" ex-football playing, feel no pain and show no emotion Davis) walked in.
"Boy, have you lost your mind?!?!?" he yelled as he took his belt off. Keep in mind that, although I got the belt more than everybody else, my father was not abusive. He had rules and if you broke those rules, you suffered the consequences. I deserved every one of those sessions.
Just as he grabbed my upper arm to wear me out for wasting food, he stopped, sat me down in the kitchen chair and put the belt on the table.
"You're gonna finish that entire bowl, milk and all! BEFORE I come back!"
I cried through every spoonful, staring at the belt, racing a deadline that hadn't been established. I drank the never-ending milk successfully, without vomiting. Success! 'Stay Of Execution'!
When he returned, I sat there, sick as a dog, but happy because I had finished it all.
Now, here's the lesson, children. Read the fine print. Get the conditions of your contract established before you take on a job. He told me I was going to finish the bowl.
He never once said he wasn't going to whoop my behind until it glowed...
...and it did.
Haven't had King Vitamin since...
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Haha! And I still eat Apple Jacks and Corn Pops.
ReplyDelete"Oh's" (I need to leave those alone) and those Oats, Raisins & Honey cereals are my favorites now. I'm trying to get used to oatmeal and fruit in the mornings in 2019. Don't have to worry about me filling any punch bowls with THAT!
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