Crazy Confessions: 25 Things You Never Knew About Me

Despite what people have witnessed or heard over the years and all of my online antics (and police records), they still have no clue who I really am and what I'm capable of.  So here are 25 little known or unbelievable facts that you won't soon forget, once you read them.  Rated PG13

1. I've never been fishing. Been promised on many occasions over the years. But something ALWAYS came up.
2. I've played almost every wind instrument there is at some point, since elementary school: All brasswinds except trombone. All woodwinds except oboe and bassoon. Even the slide flute, kazoo (if you count that) recorder and diatonic & chromatic harmonicas.
3. I once ate 10 McDonald's cheeseburgers straight for $50. They didn't stay down long though.
4. I have an incredible fear of heights.
5. I grew up wanting to be a stuntman. Of course, #4 cancelled THAT out.
6. I was paddled (disciplined) at least once, EVERY year from kindergarten through senior year of high school.
7. I have only drank on 4 occasions and been drunk twice (both times in 1989).  I've never tried a cigarette/cigar/pipe and have never tried drugs of any kind.  Not even marijuana.
8. As a kid, I thought "The Exorcist" was funny.
9. Warm peanut butter cookies are the way to my heart. Not Twinkies.
10. I don't know the words to most popular songs, but I can pick out most all of the musical parts/arrangements within.
11. I have never a had a single argument with my mother. Not once in my life (even when I knew she was wrong - LOL).
12. I love making love in the rain, even the snow.
13. I am a member of the "Mile-High" club.
14. I can remember all of my high school best friends' addresses and phone numbers (30+ years later). But I currently need an electronic calendar reminder for two of my sons' birthdays.
15. I've seen "The Godfather" over 20 times.
16. I hate shellfish (shrimp, lobster, crab).
17. I've always preferred an intelligent &/or romantic conversation to a sexy body.
18. I once gave 2-hour training sessions, around the clock, for 34 hours, straight.
19. I studied Mathematical Sciences and Psychology in college in hopes of becoming an elementary school teacher by day and assistant to the band director after school (I ended up becoming and Environmental, Safety & Health Director for 20+ years).
20. I've had to collect body parts after an accident; even remove a glass eye and probe an eye socket for steel fragments. But if a mouse were to come in the room, I'm on the table, pulling my dress up and hittin' the high notes!
21. I love musicals. I always wanted to play the role of Fagin in a remake of "Oliver (Twist)".
22. I was attracted to girls since kindergarten, when the other guys were playing with their army men.  I wrote my first poem to a girl in 3rd grade.
23. Although I loathe (small) cats, my favorite animal has always been the black panther.
24. Growing up, I preferred older women. At age 15, I was "seeing" a 44-year-old woman. She was a customer on my paper route.
25. I'm writing 3 different books at the same time. Unfortunately, I've put them all on the back burner for various reasons, including work, photography, songwriting and recent health problems. I've since decided to focus on one book and restructure it as a screenplay. It's a romantic comedy, spanning 30+ years.

Some Honorable Mentions:

• I still think The Three Stooges were comic geniuses.
• I rarely get more than 4 hours of sleep each night.  Last night, zero sleep.
• My favorite holiday is April Fool's Day.
• I'm an old school romantic: Picnic basket, moonlight serenade by sax, poetry...
• Although I'm often the "life of the party", I'm quick to sneak away to be by myself.
• It breaks my heart to see lonely people.  I often go to the hospital to visit people that I've never met, just to keep them company.

...and there you have it.  But please, don't go embarrassing yourself saying you know me better than the rest.  I will always do something that will make you say, "What the $&#%???"

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